Posts tagged chronic illness
Self-Imposed Limitations

How many months of Saturn have I been dealing with now? Lol. Jesus, it feels like an eternity. Oh, and it’s not going to let up for quite a while longer. My Saturn Return feels special. I get a chance to have it three times. I don’t know what the next two will deal with but pass number one is about where my limits are. Do I have limits?

This first Saturn pass has back-to-back conjoined my natal Saturn, opposed my Midheaven, and now it trines my natal Venus. Over the past month and a half, there’s also been Mercury in Pisces (retrograde, too), Venus in Pisces, and both of those planets have had little rendezvous with Neptune. Now, I don’t especially pay attention to the transits right now. I’m more focused on what transits affect my chart. I will say this: Current transits are like the weather. Personal transits are like your task for the day/week/month. Sometimes skies are clear and the temperature is just right. Your plate is full but you can focus. Other times, there’s a freaking hurricane for a month and you STILL have loads to do. Get what I mean? Bet you can guess which example I’ve been in.

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The Trials of Hades: Pluto-Moon Transits

You know you’re dealing with Pluto if you feel like you’re being crushed. No matter what you do, life gets more and more intense. Do not fuck with Pluto. Close your eyes and be crushed.

I’ve consciously dealt with Pluto twice now in the past six months, and both times I mistook it for Saturn. Saturn feels like you’re being squeezed. Saturn wants structure and boundaries, so I’ll work tirelessly to create and uphold those. Nothing lets up. I’ll plead with Saturn, “I’m doing everything you want. Can’t you see it? What else could I possibly do?” And then I suddenly feel a pit in my stomach.. Oh, this is Pluto.

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Take No Shit: Saturn Transiting Natal Uranus

Saturn transiting my natal Uranus made itself known about five weeks ago. I’d just started the SCD Intro Diet. During this phase of the diet, you can have die-off symptoms. For those of you that don’t know, die-off is when bacteria, viruses, parasites, etc. are dying at a rate too fast for your body to process the toxins their releasing. After a few days, my die-off symptoms had stopped. I woke up that morning and suddenly everything was overwhelming: my routine, the places I’d been going for months, the people I see all the time, how people act, the energy coming at me. My aura was wide open and vulnerable. I saw every leak in my boundaries. I was so ungrounded and overwhelmed that I was shaking. Whatever rose-colored glasses that remained were ripped off. I kept telling myself (and the universe), “No. I won’t do this.” I wanted nothing to do with the chaos all around me.

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